Let me tell you something about “silence” that no one has ever told you before. There are people in this world that love to talk, and some talk well while others talk mostly gibberish. And there are other people who love to listen, and they prefer not to talk that much.
Well, nature has created these two attitudes towards life in order for these complete opposites to naturally attract one another. If you are not a talker, you don’t need to worry that much, because there’s a talker out there who needs someone to listen to their talking.
Now, you might wonder why is this the way it is. Well, people who often talk a lot don’t need another person talking over them and not allowing them the freedom to say whatever they want. Just like a silent person who feels uncomfortable near another silent person, the same way a talker feels uncomfortable near another talker.
So, if you happen to be a talker, you should be proud of the way you are because there are a lot of talkers out there who are seeking people like you to listen to their stories. It’s sad to see so many talkers being frustrated over the fact that their partners are not communicating enough. They don’t realize that sometimes they just need to shut up and have patience until their partners breaks out from their shell and starts communicating.
A woman usually has lots of questions to ask a guy, pressuring him to open up to her, and because her man is usually uncomfortable talking as much as she does, she will make him feel even more nervous. Women should learn to withstand the suffering feeling their men not opening up and maintain that visual contact while not saying anything. Most men will start talking at this point.
But there is also a negative silence that is not good for a relationship. Usually, that particular type of silence is an indicator of how incompatible the couple is. This negative silence sets in whenever there is a major difference between partners in terms of values, intelligence and vision in life. That’s when the ‘awkward silence’ kicks in. This even happens in situations where both partners love to talk, they just close down if they feel their partner won’t reciprocate.
As you can see, silence might be a good indicator that something is not working in your relationship. You need to see the difference between the positive silence and the negative one. Just pay attention to your feelings when the silence occurs. What kind of emotions do you have? Do you get angry and somewhat feel extremely uncomfortable like you aren’t enough for this person? If yes, then you are dealing with a silence that is indicating that you are not compatible with this person.
But if your silence feels different, if it feels like a fuzzy pleasant feeling where you don’t feel the need to talk that much, and if you feel the silence exciting you, then you should probably enjoy it because you know that’s a good thing happening.
Cristian writes articles about love and relationships at Peopleships.com